Happy New Year(s)!

i don't think i stuck to my resolution of blogging regularly, reasons for which will be given in detail at some later point.
But i'm tryin real hard to keep my new year resolutions realistic and follow them:

1. Quit- Its time to get rid of those vices which arent really best for my health. i'm already on my way. stopped drinking- only beer now. and the other one, well believe me i have started reducing.
2. Wear a scarf while travelling in pune so as to protect myself from the harsh pollution and prevent asthama.
3. go to the gym and eat healthy. try to go to gym and try to eat healthy. at times at least.
4. thats about it.

gotta go, booze party on at home. im not drinking.

Back to Whining,

Ok, here I am again. Had been trying to delay this moment for as long as I could- writing that is. Changed my template for the nth time this month I guess. Reverted to my original template, though sadly I’ve lost all the links. That can be done sometime else though.

Following my resolution to write everyday, I think I’ll follow a pattern of sorts such that at least every blog of mine has one post per week. And maybe I should start sparing some attention to those blogs where in I’m listed but haven’t made any contribution ( especially the “Taking India Ahead” blog in which I’m really interested but have never managed to post anything). So I’ll be alternating between my blogs. Enough of my schedule.

I’ll stick to the nature of this blog- which is whining. Its less of a habit and more of a lifestyle now. All my friends know I’m an incurable whiner.

Few days back I’d submitted my article to the college newsletter. There I rant about how people have these misconceptions about us since we’re very actively involved in college activities et al. While writing it I remember I was whining as usual and tried to infuse as much humor as I could manage to come up with. But I was so shocked when I found the whole editorial team found it harsh. Why? These guys are like me, I wrote that article on behalf of these guys and they find it harsh, asking if I really feel all that antagonistic and how I should voice my feelings, opinions etc. And all I could think was- am I the only one? Or is everyone else too chickenshit? The worst part was all these guys went on stressing about me having a platform (the newsletter) to “voice my feelings” and didn’t seem to relate to or identify with what I had written at all.

Everyday I meet people who ask me if I’m attending class and pass comments irrespective of what I answer. Initially, it was a joke. But hell the joke has become such a pain now. I’m used to jokes. I’m short and I’m hyper-active/talkative. So people get lot of opportunities to make jokes. And I honestly don’t mind. At least I’m making some one smile and laugh. But these taunts regarding college work and being busy seems so mean. Its like God made me short, so the joke’s on God anyways. But here, its my work and life which is being made the butt of these gags. And when I make any comments, it’s a big deal and blasphemous to them.

And sometimes I feel bitter. At the work that I’m doing and at the people. Its partly my fault. I got so busy that I started drifting away from friends and others. When you work with somebody 24/7 you start hanging out with them and inevitably your timetable’s such that you spend all your free time with them. And then friends don’t appear very generous to accept you as you are. And that sometimes seems to be the worst part. If “friends” don’t understand, how can you expect others to understand? So, once you become part of an organizing team or fest or anything, people just seem to wander away or you seem to get alienated. And somehow, it all seems so sad. I remember after third sem finals got over and everyone was planning vacations with their friends and group and I was just hanging around, shuttling between office and PCell, wishing shallow goodbyes. College is definitely not what I’d thought it would be. No boyfriends and large group of friends. No gang of girls and boys. No fun- romantic life that movies depict.

But then its my choice. I chose to work and get involved in college activities. So might as well accept the consequences. But I never imagined the consequences would be so drastic. Its not all that bad either.

Hell, I just cant help complaining either ways.

An excess of phlegm perhaps

Let me just type. Let me just write. I do not know what will result from this exercise.

But I need to do it, nevertheless. I hate not being able to write. That was my only outlet.

I feel suffocated, strangled, drowned, tied up and restless without it. There’s this inexplicable tightness clutching at my heart and I have no clue why and how to deal with it. There are these moments when you are restless and nervous. As if you know there’s something miserable waiting to happen, just around the corner and you don’t know what to do when you are face to face with it. That is how I feel. Any given moment when I’m not busy doing nothing important. Its physiological, mental, psychological and a lot of other things. There’s no word for it, yet.

There are no dreams. My mind’s become barren. Imagination has become infertile.

Does growing old do that to you?

Those days, when you were bursting with innocence, hormones, feelings, wishes. Those musings, pouring of words and tears, smiling into space thinking about nothing and everything, and those escapades into unreality- where have they gone?

The artist inside has ceased existing. There was no space for life. It was crowded with ambitions, mundane aims, selfish needs and walls. Walls around my heart, soul, mind. Nothing comes in, nothing goes out. Forever locked. Frozen. Yet burning within me every moment.

This is so juvenile. Still, its necessary.

There is this canvas waiting to be filled. But it remains white. White is a color? Or there’s such darkness that its black, impenetrable. Even grey fails to come on it.

Is it just that my outlets have closed or do I have nothing to express?

Either ways, I feel un-alive.

The entire world is an illusion. Do I just tread through this illusion waiting for it to end on my death? Or do I live it out? I have to live it out. Breathe in the scents and dust. I want to feel pain and happiness. Immeasurable pain and indefinite happiness. And express it the way I want to.

Nothing is stopping me. But I find myself incapable.

Something within is dying. There is the optimist lying docile.

There’s so much I want to do, want to achieve. But they all seem meaningless now that I feel incapable of doing what I thought I was best at and loved to- to write.

Maybe its my fault- I am lazy. Despite that, I just feel incapable otherwise. Its as if I’ve become handicapped, lost my limbs or lungs or heart or just everything.

Being sad and hurt allowed me to vent it out and write. Pain helps. I tried, in vain.

I think its true. As they say, external wound and pain are superficial and its when the heart is bleeding with sorrow and grief and misery that you really suffer. The turmoil within is worse than the injuries on surface. But I don’t have either. I tried the latter- got my ears pierced again in an attempt to “feel” the pain. Needless to say, it didn’t help matters much.

Even loneliness is something that’s so detached. Yet so deeply entrenched into the psyche. I feel miserably lonely at times. That solitude doesn’t encourage any creativity.

I think I’ve run out of reasons, of miseries to put blame on for my incompetence.

Nothing seems to help.

And I resort to whining, which just tires you out and saps your creativity further.

Maybe I should just continue to write. Somewhere, sometime I’ll find a way out or a way in. I must force myself to write everyday. I have to let things affect me. See, hear, feel and experience. And express everything. Maybe that will help.

I have to keep trying. I must.

Its really a waste..

I'm sorry I'm here again to whine.
I have lost my creative skills. Whatever little i had.
I re- read my poems again and again. I don't think they are great works. But i have nothing else. I want to view my own work. And i see no improvement from the past to the present. People get better as they grow. I seem to be growing back into immaturity and un-creativity.
Where have i lost it?
or have i stopped feeling?
The Romanticism has died out. All that i see is jaundiced by cynicism.
All i find is that yes life sucks, and there's nothing that you can really do about it.
I see others going through intense feelings, highs and lows, and tangled love lives. And i mock it, find it juvenile.
Wasn't it good to be juvenile and pour out your feelings?
Something decent always turned up with those juvenile feelings and musings.
I used to be a dreamer. A hopeless one. All i did was dream, daydream, imagine and dream. And some more.
I don't do that anymore. And i don't like it, at all.
To dream, to feel, to ponder and brood and think and go through those phases where you just go on weaving dreams and thoughts into an intricate maze so that you're trapped in your own safe haven, shielded from reality- where is all that?
Escapism- thats the best opium.
Second Life does seem a very good idea indeed.
I miss poetry.
I miss words. And how i could find solace in them. In my own words. I didnt have to go looking for others' poison.
I need to go back.

Quicksilver

Its been too long since I’ve blogged, I know.
I don’t even remember when was my last post put up.
Sometime before exams, or rather a long time before exams I’m sure. Exams were a pathetic state of misery. First two papers we’re just not ready. Then for the next two, food poisoning came upon us and by the last two, we were too tired, dejected and hopeless, just wanting the goddamned exams to get over. After exams, for exactly 4 days I had the best fun in my life in a long long time. Me and two other friends- Bidi and Chetan- my family members think it was 5 of us ( us three plus I added Sanchari and Udrrek to the list guilty of going off to some god forsaken beach place without making much fuss about it)- had gone to Dive Agar beach, somewhere in Konkan for all that I know. Beach and booze and friends- what more could I ask for?? Though I didn’t really get on to sea fish the way my friends did ( maybe because I was still suffering from the after effects of food poisoning and nausea or maybe I realized that I just don’t like Sea fish!!) and daddy dearest caused a bit o’ worry in the end. I inform him of my trip with friends 2 days before I’m to leave and he’s like “ ok.. fine.. whatever” without asking me with whom I’m going and hence I don’t consider it to lie from the beginning. All throughout the days in preparation till I left he never bothered asking with whom I was going. Then on my 2nd day there, on the phone he asks me who I am with and I bluff. Then next day when I’m back in Pune, in the evening he calls and starts heavy interrogation causing me to freak out and make up silly fibs. I was thinking of ditching Placement Cell(PCell) work and heading home immediately the next day, but my Dad’s subsequent silence and refusal to speak with me was a sign that I should give some time to that bloody PCell and let things cool down at home. So for 3 days I work at PCell cursing every moment of the work and time spent there. I’d need to write an entire book of 100 pages to list the fallacies and idiotic inner workings of the PCell. Then one day before leaving I call home from the PCell phone ( sometimes you have to take advantage of College Facilities) and have a nice chat with my mom wherein she informs me of her decision to scold me in front of my dad regarding “too-much-freedom-that-we’ve-given-you” and that I should just stay quiet and play along. How nice can my mom be??? So cute :D.
Well now I'm home and we haven’t yet done our “scolding-listening” playact in too much detail- it was more like my mom seemed to be casually over interested about my trip and “friends”.
Now that I’m home I thought I would have time to think and write and blog and read and watch movies and hang out with friends and shop and paint and all that ( almost precisely in that order I think ) .And all I’ve done since coming back is eat a lot and sleep a lot while finishing off one blah novel ( its chick-lit by a male author for Christ’s sake!!) and watch Black Books Series ( become a huge fan now, thanks 2 Bidi) and a lot of movies and hang out simultaneously with my best friend Sandy ( a.k.a. Sandhya ).
Since I’m kinda clueless as to what I wanna write about now, I think I’ll ramble about Sandy. Well she’s gonna give her CAT this year and is freaked out about it and has sufficient reasons to be worried. She’s the only person who knows when I’m back home and is almost always around when I’m back. She likes movies and gets pretty excited to check out what movies I’ve got with me. So she checks out all the movies and goes on about which all movies she’s heard of and wants to watch. Then inevitably she comes over and says “ I’m in the mood for a nice romantic movie” / “ I feel like a nice romantic comedy” / “ Lets watch something romantic, its been long” which basically is about watching the same darned movies again and again and again. Your list comprises Notting Hill, Love Actually, When Harry Met Sally, A Walk to Remember (the most tiresome and crappiest of all) and now it extends to include Bend it Like Beckham and DDLJ (now that’s my fault I chose to get the CDs and save them to my hard disk). She made me watch Dhoom II twice (!!!!) as also dragged me to watch Laaga Chunari mein Daag despite the fact that we both had read its reviews and knew it would be a pathetically boring movie. :O
And now she’s got some weird hobby to put black nail paint on her toes and white paint on her finger nails. Why ? why would anyone in their sane mind do that?
She’s got some other weird habits too. One’s checking out the extras and their costumes in a typical bollywood song/ dance sequence. Stick to the leads for Christ’s sake!!! Then there’s asking about the heroine’s revealing costumes and wondering aloud how well they’ve hidden their lingerie. Every time I return home, she expects me to get her half a dozen pairs of oshos. And the like.
But then she’s a real good listener, i.e. she listens to me going blah blah and some more blah. She keeps treating me to pani-puri and other junk and good food. I guess I’ve grown to her omnipresence in my life, however gay as it may sound to my ears to go on gushing about my best friend.
And its definitely a good thing she’s not very active online and especially on blogger to give her views regarding my weird hobbies, habits, etc. Good thing that my dad's not tooo up to date with blogger shlogger shit.
And now I’m too buggered ( I’m fasting for ekadashi bcoz Sandy the holy cow told me to) to continue writing bull so I’ll just sod off and watch some movies, do I?

And I dont really know why the topic of this post reads Quicksilver. It means
changing unpredictably: tending to change rapidly and unpredictably.
Microsoft® Encarta® 2006. © 1993-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.
So maybe it says something about my mood.. or maybe its just a load of toadstools like the rest of this post.

Time-out for now.

Things happen too soon , too fast. It seems like God was in a big hurry to wrap this episode up. As it is we are a part of a giant endless sitcom directed by God Dearest. Just for laughs he makes us go through a rough patch and u can hear his laughter boom when you are down in the pits , all alone n miserable.
Right now, its just fatigue and over exhaustion. Being so lost, all the time is not good. There's this frenzy of thoughts in my head but they refuse to take form in words. Pointlessness has become the point of the matter. Meaninglessness provides meaning to this sad existence of ours when there's nothing that you can do except for playing through automated phases of life like androids. You work and think its worth something, something to keep you going. What do you take back- hours of you planning and organising and blah blah crap rather than hours spent doing nothing but having fun with friends??? Could it be because you have no 'friends' as such now? How far do you keep yourself and alienate yourself from your people who you know and who know you?
You keep looking for the light at the end of the tunnel. You reach the end and realise there's no opening at that end- it was god again playing jester shining a torch from the other end. You ultimately have to go back to those you left behind. And what if those you left behind are not there anymore? ( This is God's idea of character building learnt from bollywood)
There's this period in my life which seems to have been erased from my memory.. A gap i cant seem to fill.I cant recall where i was. Or mayb i can, except that it seems to be a movie running backwards too fast. It seems like sometime back i came back from home, then things started running through my hands. Elims n elims- this time on the other side, holding them for others Manzar International Debate, and some more debates. Then more elims- this time being the victim, going through an awful lot(Nirvikalpa- Marketing Assignment included selling Kabaddi to teh ultrarich and stress interview had me mono acting, dancing and telling a blonde joke). Then it was Christ College, Bangalore(Awesome experience to be recounted later in happy-er times) then back to Pune and Illuminare(critical analysis to be submitted at a later date), still so much work to do.. The day i decide to attend lectures, i come to know college is officially over and there are no more lectures being conducted, officially of course.
One of these professors couldnt help smiling at me when he saw me for the first time in his class. He was really nice to accept my Management Accounts assignments later(MA-in which im pitiable n the assignemnt in question was in the process of being copied when i had this urge and working net connection to compel me to leave it). Others havnt been that nice, so i've had to beg and plead them for extensions. Damned people do not understand that it is humanly not possible to sit in class and study and organise inter collegiate fests from withing the class!! MCQs comin up and im sure i'll b resorting to inky-pinky-ponky-father-had-a-donkey routine to get through them.
And then there's the best of all-Placement Cell ( an assortment of jesters selected through a stupid process from the college to help other clowns get placed in ''good companies'') My holidays are being cut short owing to placement cell work :(. Its so not Funny- I am Missing Home!!!!
I feel like i've forgotten something over here. Somewhere i seem to have lost track about what i was supposed to be blogging. Its ok, memory, time, availability of net and my laziness permitting i'll blog sometime soon about what i really wanted to blog.

Stupid Thought That Went Through My Brain Cells and Surpirsed the Shit Out of ME-
Can you let the light of stars lead you? or Do you have to fight the fates written by those stars??

Meaninglessnes-

Something's so horribly missing..
its just this gaping void.. you cant seem to fill it, whatever you do..
i am as clueless about whats missing as i am about what i seek to fill that gap with...

Writer's Block keeps visiting again and again.. Its as if he's this dreaded ghost you wish stopped haunting you.. this unwanted guest who keeps knocking at every oppurtunity, you dont want to let him in, yet he forces himself in, stays for dinner without invitation and refuses to go... He doesnt just stem your creativity, he simply destroys your ability to write and express. Lethargy/boredom/pervasive pointlessness/habitual hyperactivity etcetra are some of its other names..

There's this surge of emotions- chaotic, distorted, formless and heavy- just no outlet to let go of them. Too many things locked up inside, so many irrelevant things released but..

Sharing secret joys and grief doesnt help.
it doesnt drive away guilt and loneliness.
it doesnt make you feel any lighter, any less troubled.
its just those things you let on when you cant take them anymore, but it doesnt help.
because you know saying things out aloud doesnt necessarily help matters ease, because you are not doing that to find solutions or attempting assauge a messy state of mind.

My horoscope for today says: "Nevertheless, your happiness may depend on your ability to let go of the paNevertheless, your happiness may depend on your ability to let go of the past."
But what do i let go of??
i almost feel i dont have any claims over these memories.. theres nothing i own to let go of...
i am happy, i think. but i feel i am not..
maybe feelings are not such a good thing at all.. how can they be? if their sole purpose is to create conflicts in your mind for which you dont have time and any space...

its pointless to find the meaning of life.. but who the fuck knows wats life anyways?????
i dont know what my life is or wat it means to me or any one else?( i doubt if anyone would be so jobless as to make my life matter to them, except of course my immediate family which i have now come to realise doesn really really cares about me beyond my cynical imagination)

As this post falls deeper down into an abyss of nonsense, and i realise i'm just doing this in a futile attempt to find some meaning as to what could have gone so horribly wrong with me to make me such a loser of a person, i want to know why i think i am a loser.
is it because i am not a looker at all and neither a genius of any sort? god said no to me in both the departments-- nor extreme good looks or extreme brilliance of mind with superscore of an IQ!!!
or is it just because i fail to see anything remotely special or different in myself? or is it just an incurable inferiority complex that i've been chronically suffering from??
(A self-critical and self-depreciating view of myself just doesnt sound as funny or cool as it does for others.)

Just staying busy doing work which you know will be anyways done irrespective of who's doing it, but which somehow makes you feel as if you have been a part of something which you'd like to believe you're an integral part of. At the end of the day, when i go to sleep do i feel i made a difference to anyone or myself, in which ever tiniest way possible or did i just add to the growing heap of meaningless hours, words and sighs spent??

busy- exams-thats it.

i know i should be studying, or rather trying to figure out QT( thats quantitative theory i think, but hell when i first heard the name i kept looking around to see cuties :O)
exams are on now- 3 down 3 more to go. As usual i'm bummin abt now.. i've been wanting to blog for a while now n i kept complaining abt lack of time- which was incidentally not just another of my whining bouts but the truth- i was really busy.

right now im being distracted by an old school friend on gtalk(never dared to talk in school n now he's goin blah blah blah :X), so i'll jus bugger off now..
i'll blab to NERs sometime else..

FUN WEEKEND!!

Well this weekend has been fun..
Friday- I go on telling everyone that I'm not going to Freshers party coz my roomie wasnt coming and I'd b lacking in company n blah blah reasons.. but then due to unexpected company and a lucky phone call, I did go to the Freshers. I'd resigned myself to watching The Incredibles(sigh..)
Sorry here to my roomie who got all worked up seeing me all cooped up and went to great lengths to try and cheer me up(she almost succeeded by calling Chetan!! Roomies-- well u just cant help loving them somehow :X :P).
So ..i go to the freshers..And I must say it was fun- the party that is.. Unlike last time where i was too sloshed to remember what i'd done(though others remember too well!!Darn!), this time around I was sober.For some reason a lot of people kept asking me how many shots i had and seemed to be surprised when i said none(why i wonder?)..GR comes up to me asking about it and recounts how funny i was last time- i wasnt aware that of all people he was one of the main witnessesback then,he's been so nice thru all this time.. But i'd promised my roomie i wont get drunk or rather not drink and Townie(whose call led me to change my mind about attending freshers at literally the last minute) had set my limit to one shot so i was good and nice and didnt drink(few swigs dont count,do they?). I had good fun dancing to usual crappy disco kinda songs wid so many diff people :P..(one of d cutest guys in college asked me to dance wid him-im all of a flutter,still:D) and came back all charged,happy,tired etc etc. Some kinda fight broke out there and d party kinda ended soon.. i'll be a teensy weensy bit whiny and wish the party had gone on for longer.. back home i got my bit of vodka and that put me to an amazing 12+ hours of sleeep.I got up at 2 or so..
Saturday -Today was good, too.No college- it wasnt a holiday, but then hell no one went. good break from all that Conoscenza activtiy..We(me n roomie ie) went for HARRY POTTER AND ORDER OF THE PHEONIX..and it was awesome. Obviously the book is far far better than the movie, but nonetheless the movie was superb.. luvvvvvvvvvved it..had amazing chelo murg from Blue Nile for dinner- wat more cud i ask for???
lets see how sunday funday goes...

Funny weekend fact: i dunno how i manage to spend and have fun even when im broke.maybe i will when my dad kills me for the expenses :D

Back-no bang--bit of a fizzz...

i got a lot to say/blog/blab/express etc etc..
but im running short of time and net connection, ie i hav no net connection for now..
so in short-
college's started.
its good, ok- nice to be back..
im confused.. not really but confused.. a different matter altogether.
doesnt matter, its ok..
im tired n aching.. blame d gym n that constant enforced head banging at a gig last night.. it was kinda nice.. no confusing really.. im so confused.
i want a masseur(no innuendos) coz my backs hurting like hell...
i'm going into these weird mental zones where im thinking way too much, and trying hard at the same time not to think too much.. then there are those blank zones wherein im all empty and tired and inexplicably sad. why i wonder?
and i'm a sort of front bencher now-- terms jus started..n i seem to b liking sum subjects n paying attention and all tht stuff usually restricted to good students--whats wrong wid me???--
but i think i cud b recovering.. i hav bunked a few classes till now.. n today i managed to bunk d last lecture right while the prof was waiting to get in.. :D all smiles at that..
well ok thats it.. horrible cramp beginning to start in my neck... beginning to start-- is that correct english??
hell who cares?

idontknowwhatthisisabout..

Loss hurts.Loss hurts even more when you dont even know- why, how??
Helplessness hurts and angers.
Not living upto expectations, letting them down hurts..
But then hell- life starts with hurt- ever heard of any baby coming out smiling or laughing?? what does doc do 1st??-slaps ur butt off 2 make u cry!!- there u go.. life is all aboutt hurt and pain and misery!!

But then yeah, you move on, realise smiling takes fewer facial muscles than frowning and learn happiness is the ideal state of existence, which you then never achieve for an extended period of time coz utopian states are not for real, are they??

Thus things that really once made you pull your hairs out (one of them wud be Ultra Doux Conditioner for Dry & Frizzy hair which after use makes ur hair if anything but more frizzier!!), would now manage to elicit a feeble smirk/chuckle from you. So now things like Ponds Facial Foam Face (now thats called alliteration!) Wash which never produces any foam at all nor does it manage to really clean your face or Parachute Therapie Hair Oil which claims to reduce hairfall by 90% but rather increases your probability to become prematurely bald- well they just give you a tiny window of oppurtunity to laugh at yourself for being stupid enough to purchase them.

Its not easy to tide over grief with such pathetic attempts at humour, but still a journey of thousand miles starts with a single step.. n so does a journey of thousand smiles with a single- err...PJ?

Im not sure if this piece belongs to this blog- it certainly doesnt seem to fit with the other lighter forms of crap.
Im not even sure what im blabbing about out here- but i just felt this urge to post :.. My internship's finally over( will be tomorrown that is) and i seem to be getting over my phase of lows-fits of the sullens, said Mrs.Weasley.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"—a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.

Mark Twain (1835 - 1910)
US writer and humorist.

Pudd'nhead Wilson
Microsoft ® Encarta ® 2006. © 1993-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

oh crap- arggghhhh !

just a quick rant.. ( well a long one at that..)

i'll whine about phase one of my internship at some other leisurely point of time..for now let me just whine about topics in general..

first and foremost- the Symbiosis admission process into 2nd year--
the application process will drive you nuts, crazy, mad.. it is so so full of shit!!! 1st symbi doesnt give any announcement or instructions regarding the re-admission thingy till its really really imperative to do so. You call up Symbiosis- 1st number is forever busy, second line no one picks up, 3rd number which you get from unlisted sources is answered by someone who'll simply ask you 2 send d DD wid ur bare details like name, PRn no, dv etc.. But just 2 confirm you go and check d site where you realise symbii has done something good(false hopes, sigh!)..what it has done is to put up this online registration form which really is a second hand product derived by amalgamating d online admission for 1st years and maybe d re-admission forms of former batches.
It is a bloody five page long document, and requires to know :-
* your HSC,
* SET scores along with 'academic details of semesters given' which proves 2 b a really difficult criteria coz very few symbiians really bother to keep such trivia in some wasted corner or their brains or document folders;
* your birth details(well almost every thing except your mothers' obstetrician's name);
* your permanent address, local adress;
* info abt ur local guardian- mandatory- irrespective of the fact that you necessarily may not have a LG;
* it asks you to sign in the centre ( dead centre ok!) of a box in black ink (only black ink please, glad they didnt ask for special fountain pen);
* and staple one and stick one photo at appropriate boxes (boxes which seemingly ask for passport size but are meant for stamp size);
* you're required to enclose with this uber-simple application form DDs (for tution, hostel and mess), photocopies of exam marksheets (all d exams that you gather are crucial for ur r-admission, but then which symbiian really does have his/her sem marksheets really safe?!), proof of local address and two passport size photos(again).
To add to this, the form apparently is for admission into 1st year of symbiosis BBA, a mistake which no one has bothered to correct even after promising 'to look into the matter' n if you call up d office regarding this, one bloke listens to you blab for approx 90 seconds then leaves you listening to those annoying mechanical tunes. All this is so typical of Symbiosis. We at Symbiosis just cant seem to shed this BureauCRAZY- perhaps symbii considers this a part of our training, early introduction to Babudom in its milder form!
For others it may seem im just whining about something which is very normal- but really, symbiians wud agree our college just loves to do everything in a long, over drawn exercise which is bound to really really piss you off!

Then comes d great-indian-family-summer-reunion-thingy wherein relatives would come to your place and you have to play the gracious host. In this mumbai heat- i really dont think its a very good plan! Ok,maybe im speaking like the archetypal teenager who cant handle generation gap and doesnt understand her grandparents. But hell- i really can get along with senior citizens but for no reason can i get along wid my dearest mom's mommy dearest coz i've talked wid her barely a dozen times and those times too have proved sufficiently discouraging coz everytime it has been abt what am i studying currently, how expensive life has gotten to be now and how i've inherited monster-like qualities from daddy dearest @$#$%% !!!
Its enough of a pain in u-knw-wher to be working at a NGo concerning kids/children/teenagers/adolescents- but then to have at home my dear 12 year old cousin who REALLY LOVES MALLS -the typical, eager-to-visit-everyplace-which-gives-ample-oppurtunity-for-shopping kinda girl n who likes to talk about fav filmstar/color/career/etc and her equally 'wow' 'best friends' most of the time- well it can really strain you to be nice when in reality im oh-so-mean!!!
Despite being an extroverted, overtly social person at times, i can get into d anti-social ( or rather anti-filial ) modes and then my patience is really tested- its my summer vacation for christs sake!!! while mommy dear would haggle wid me for every tiny expense incurred by me in no-relatives-over peacetime, she suddenly becomes RBI when her folks are over, dad too :( - i agree im sounding very juvenile here, but hell im like that only. and then sleeping in d living room on the sofa-cum-bed (kiddie zone eh!)--i've 2 b nice-helpful-adjusting-good girl till sunday now :

And then i have my second phase of my internship- its not compulsory now, i've completed my work, but then im obliged to help my boss who gave me my 1st real job whn i was still in junior college n terribly under-experienced. this time around it wud be easy i think- coz i've already been there, done that ( ie managing a kids' summer workshop ) but this time around i'l hav 2 get up early coz there's only one batch- morning batch :( ... then i have my bosses who can amaze you with their take-it-easy-approach to everything- which boss would carelessly misplace ur pen drive containing imp files and reports? - or wud at times completely forget abt such things??

So from tomorrow- ( mayb d new eyes wud help :P)
its all about being nice to kids, cousins, senior citizens, bosses, mommy n daddy, n others while living with the recognition of the fact ( a fact which i've believed strongly for quite some time now) that it is just not in my nature to be nice.

Dictionary Tales

nice
nice [niss]
(comparative nicer, superlative nicest)
adjective

1. pleasant: pleasant or enjoyable
2. kind: kind, or showing courtesy, friendliness, or consideration
3. respectable: respectable, or of an acceptable social or moral standard
4. good-looking: pleasing to look at
5. accomplished: skilful and accomplished
6. subtle: subtle and involving delicacy or fine discrimination
7. fastidious and fussy: very concerned and careful about choosing, or being seen to do, the right thing

[13th century. Via Old French < Latin nescius 'ignorant']
Microsoft® Encarta® 2006. © 1993-2005 Microsoft Corporation. All rights reserved.

Now you understand- i cannot ever be nice if it means all these things.
( erm.. well.. er maybe subtle at times, only that, only at times...)

The year that was- beginning

all good things come to an end (apologies for this cliched beginning, but i must..)
its hard to believe that a year- a bloody full year in symbi- has come to an end, finally. it has been some year. let me go back a bit in time..

21st June- Induction. We're all awed by it all... the magnificient dome at SIMS Khadkee, Speakers, Yudi :P.. the whole bloody thing!I'm all jumpy excited- gung ho man!! In all that excitement i'm talking to this bubbly girl and asking her which room she's in only to get the reply "your room".. if i thought i was excited i didnt know Aakriti my roommate-hyperactiveness, bubbliness in the most exlplosive form, in a good way(at times) though :) I'd never seen anyone so excited at the prospect of being ragged!!. Contrast to my other roommate lovingly caled Princess who im sure did the whole world a great favour by coming to Symbi and a honor to be our roommate( i hope u get d sarcasm). The whole four days of induction- friends made, promises made to be friends through the whole 3 years, calling ourselves The OG(again the masterwork of my Aakriti), short for Owl Group-owning to our tendency of staying up all night and babbling away to glory. Ah! it fel so nice- like being home :)

26th June- College starts.Introductions Introductions and some more introductions. some coincidence that college ended on 26th MArch 2007- jus 2 months short of being called a year... its strange how once college starts and you are put into separate classes all that hostel bonhomie frendship evaporates.. it may have just happened to us.. but still.. the friendships didnt last even 3 months, wonder if we wud hav really made it through 3 years.. by my birthday only it was so apparent that we were drifting apart..

29th july- since almost anyone who knows me or knows my frends : knows about this. Freshers Party- god it was crazy. i was high n high. thanks to tosham(also calld possum by me for reasons i dont knw),zubs,simmi n some others too for being there wid me. if it hadnt been for zubs i dunno wat crazy stuff i'd have done. i hav never said it but i wish to now- thank you jui for being there wid me- thru out. :) the hangover and subsequent embarassing accounts by others was a lot to dissaude me from going to symbii parties.indeed it has been till now my first and last party- a symbii party as such.

2nd august- my birthday :D i'll always remember this one- i turned 18 and had gotten my best bday party yet.. aakriti n gang got me a cake n we had this public cake cutting thing.. then came the real thing. Jui(Zubs), Sanchari(Sancho Panza,Fresher Queen :P) Gauri(Biker) Anuja(Anna- suffice wid that) had planned up this elaborate birthday treat.with the standard gifts n cake- there was d packet of condom(its some tradition anna put us on to- wen anyone turns 18, u gift him/her a condom!!) i recall the way they managed to get it as pretty amusing (though very embarassing for gauri,poor, who had to do the job) well she got to keep it while i kept only d packet cover :P!! they had also managed to sneak in cigs n vodka!! god it was some party!! just the five of us.. man it has been the best bday surprise i've ever had.
speaking of surprises i wudnt forget anirudh's bday gift and niether the fact that he'd invited himself for a treat and gone on pulling my leg throughout d evening :X.. well d evening seemed a bit of downer seeing that all those invited were seen in groups, distant and as if they wud b anywhere but here.. only the 5 of us, possum n anirudh of course wer having a good time....

hell. for now- ths is it.. later wen i can think n stand 2 put it all out...

Nine Things in the Newspapers that are driving ME up the wall :

1. Island City to get less power, but to pay more- Oh Wow! What Good NEWS!! they are announcing it as if India has put a man on the moon. how fair and just is it to suffer power cuts during this bloody swelteringly hot summer and to add insult to injury pay more for that!! Agreed there's massive shortage of power in the state but who asked the state to make up plans to distribute free power else where. keep the streetlamps on in broad daylight and turn them off when its dark- thats state's electricty saving policies for you.
under this the Mumbai Mirror asks "should south mumbai have power cuts?"
and why shouldnt it???? some dork says " I dont think its fair for south mumbai to face power cuts as the economic growth of the entire mumbai city will come to a halt. If the hospitals there do not get electricty, the patients will have to suffer. it will also hamper industrial growth." tell me dude wat abt hospitals in other parts of mumbai??? nowadays anyways nariman point and other south mumbai hubs are being taken over in terms of business volume by hubs in BKC,Mulund and other suburbs.

2. EMI rates for home loans increased- yes! very good! make the private banks richer while making sure you leave the middle class without any aid to make investments in the lucrative real estate or even letting them buy homes for their old age.. someday when i'll b looking to buy my own flat i'll b paying more than half of my salary in paying EMIs. :X

3. The Pramod Mahajan Trial- Pravin Mahajan murdered his brother. He has himself admitted so, confessed to the crime. There were eye witnesses who have established the same. yet the "defence" grills Mrs.Mahajan and it seems that it asked her questions about the colour of her fridge, the bottles kept inside and other such trivia. Imagine wasting time on such open shut cases where there are hundreds and thousands of cases piling dust on their covers. Just because they are concerned with famous personalities and attract more attention from the media, these cases are being used as examples of 'swift justice'. Thank the lawyers who have complained about the swift trials of just the "powerful" leaving the poor to languish in labyrinths of postponed court hearings, transferred judges and a seemingly indifferent judiciary system to the CJ.

4. Hype and Hoopla over introduction of Sex Education in Schools- Most people interviewed have given a postive response to the whole idea it seems. Yet the state legislature thinks otherwise. The same bloody tendency to play moral police forever.You ban FTV, AXN, Orkut, detain couples frm bandstand, set up an enquiry committee to probe Carol Gracias and a host of other models' "wardrobe malfunction" while leaving hundreds of complaints and FIRs related to much more important issues unattended. As it is any child just needs to log on to the internet or open the Mirror itself to get an adequate dose of daily titillation. What else is the State gonna BAN???

5. Malakar outlasts another detractor- Its not so much the news but the people involved in it that infuriates me. Some NRI singing his way to glory with only modest talent as they say, some blogger goes on a hunger strike to protest against his selection and then chickens out knowing the futility of the purpose citing "doctors orders" as if the doctor waited to see the american idol results(a whole bloody 16 days!) before giving his "orders". Its not indian idol- its just that there some PIO involved!!

6. Tussauds comes to MUMBAI- you'd think the wax museum is opening up in Kalaghoda this spring! but no they r coming in the year 2009,2010... so its just that we've been given 2 years to get ready for the frenzied excitement of having wax statues of celebs from all over the world. next they will b giving us the list of bollywood nymphets and bloated-up 'heroes' whose statues will feature in the musuem. bet mallika sherawat and rakhi sawant would fight for the most vulgar bust(literally)! mayb we would have abhi-ash posing wid mummy papa- amitabh and jaya- epoch making news!!

7. Mumbai Mirror's Health Tips-
I. To reduce varicose veins, it is important to do regular exercise, walk, run, cycle and swim to keep blood vessels healthy- they forgot mentioning yoga, reiki, atkins diet, et al.
II. If you get wounded and blood is running out, use blend tea on the injured area to stop bleeding immediately - am i supposed to carry a pouch containing Earl Grey, Darjeeling, Oolong, Green, Ceylon tea( blend tea, anyone?) all the time around my neck like a first aid kit????

8. Jlo ditches bling to go on Jury Duty- i can hardly believe that you'd think that anyone, even someone as stupid as Jlo would think of going in a diamond studded bikini for jury duty! its actually the paparazzi that regrets Jlo keeping her ass-ets under wraps and hence the news.

9. Desi Tycoon plans parallel Cricket league- India cant manage the heroic eleven, imagine having a dozen clubs containing more of such heroes. imagine the number of endorsements of shampoos, colas, Tvs, Shoes, apparel, Accessories, soaps, hair oils, tyres, insurance schemes, fans, bulbs, tubelights, toilet paper and a host of other such products that these players would feature in. Greg's already blabberring about d "mafioso" in d indian cricket team hurting the sentiments of many senior players in the process. so who'll be the godfather when cricekt leagues come up??Subhash Chandra(ZEE head honcho) plans to invest 100 crores in his scheme.i'm sure our eleven heroes cumulatively make more than that in a year with their endorsements alone.

i'm too tired and irked to go on about the top ten stories that drew my horns out, so i hav left it at just 9. :O :(

Ides of March

If I’d thought my woes would end with February I was very mistaken.(Oh wow, what a nice novel way to start!)
Last day of February – last working day of our college. It was nothing like last days are supposed to be like. It as very boring plain and un interesting. Coz we all knew- its not really the end. There were vivas, MCQs and term-end exams before we get to say goodbye, have a nice summer. To add to that my PPM prof comes and hands me the job to write “her speech for the TY Farewell”. I was also assisting Anuja sell newsletters and was surprised beyond measure to know that it was “sold-out” even before lunch time!!!
I’m not a very good speech writer ~ oratory is not my forte, though I can jam decent enough. Ma’m tells me to write about “her experience with the TYs”, “how she would feel when they would be leaving” and the like.. with the internet to my rescue I come up with somewhat so-so speech and rush back 2 pack and leave for home.
I come home making plans of really doing some productive work, maintaining a healthy exercise regime and crap like that. I ‘d brought back my notes to ‘study’ and almost all of my wardrobe to be given for laundry. The latter was done, the former never took off. Late night internet surfing, chatting, watching movies made sure I never got up before 11 a.m. the rest of the day was spent getting together with friends, watching some more movies and sleeping some more. I stretched about once in the name of exercise.
I ask my friends to help me bungle up my vivas date- its on Monday 5th and I don’t wanna return on 4th (my friend said I was crazy not giving my viva because I didn’t want to return on Sunday) my friend tells the prof another story n I tell her some other story but still she orders me to meet her the afternoon next day. I oblige- catch the earliest bus I could manage, hurry up to the college and without even asking around or exchanging return greetings change into my uniform and all. Then I come to know that our dear ma’m is not well and hence wont come today. Wow! What a day!
Complaining and whining as usual, I somehow get down to copying answers for MCQs from someone’s set and by the end of the day decide that rather than wasting my time copying answers I can just directly read from her set. The only good thing about the whole bloody day was we saw our future flat and were bowled over by it. We just hopped back to our hostel being all happy and excited over shifting next term.
7th March
The day of the MCQs- we’re a set of disorganized, unprepared and mildly indifferent people trying to score the bare minimum so as to ensure that we are passing our internals in all subjects. Accs vivas are scheduled for 2mrw morning. SID had its fest going on so we were way too distracted thinking about a whole lot of things other than our impending doom. By late afternoon we’ve just given up trying to even read those crappy questions. If nothing we’re just gonna resort to doing inky-pinky-ponky-father-had-a-donkey routine or make patterns with the options or jus select only one option- either a,b,c, or d for every answer that we don’t know ( the probability for getting more no. of right answers on this method is more than the others)
My page takes a long while to download and appear- meanwhile I’m helping my friend son either side, telling answers I ‘think’ are right. After an eternity the page does come and I am all set to go. Within 30 minutes or so I’m done and see that Anuja’s still going on.. I wait some more and check recheck ( not that I’d get right answers on rechecking, but heck wat else to do?) the questions like 3-4 times before we both finally get to click “SUBMIT” and get done with this shit.
8th March
Next day- accs vivas. We go in to ask ma’m when to report and find her checking her orkut scraps!!!!!!! 20 minutes she says. We go down for breakfast and find theres nothing but d juice shop open. I get this watermelon juice which is as cold and freezing (or more) as CCD’s Iced Eskimo. Anuja nicely pushes me in to go 1st and Gilby seems very amused at me being his first victim of the day. Gilby jus grilled and grilled me. Killing me softly with his smile and words. Teaching me stuff right there and taking my revision too- during my vivas. Asking every goddamned thing but my topic- time keeping and booking. I guess I was in there forever getting academically screwed. In the end, asks me to do a favor for him( oh yeah right). My friend Anuja goes in. I go down to the job come up in 2 minutes and find her standing outside with her vivas done. I was d only one to be kept in quarantine there.
I have to have to study stats else I’d b backlogged for sure- but then I’ve been watching movies, reading (freakonomics- interesting) writing this.
I’m doomed. But what the heck- do you think it is very interesting to start stats from scratch and do it all by yourself when there are so many distractions and temptations lying around??
Bad excuse- didn’t work. I’m doomed.

February is the Busiest Month!!!*

*apologies for such a bland and un-imaginative(?!) title

why is feb the busiest time of the year?? Ananya gets over n we have the ghost of projects/assignments/comapny visits et al on our heads. Accompanied by Youth Activism Day, V-Day,how much ever i try not to hate the day, i jus keep failing miserably( this time i'd gone 4 d antakshari comptn at UNIFY in which we lost :X), Japanese delegation (why, oh why?) and MCQs and a host of other menaces.Youth activism day n V-day~ordeal was over in relative quick succesion. Japanese delegation(Students from The Obirin University,Japan) arrives on Monday, we are informed on Friday or so and i'm clueless as to how we are gonna "interact" with them. Profs in charge do not know whether the students understand english or not or whther they are undergrads like us.The profs tell us its an "informal" session which we are gonna fill up wid ppt presentations about India and its great diverse culture,religion blah blah. They do not want any of the topics (or pictures mainly) assigned to overlap but the topics given are culture of India, Religions of india, Monuments in India, Traditions in india and god-knows-wht-not in inida. Only pics 2 b ther in the ppt, n no pointer texts. But then we have to show all that we are gonna "read out or say" during the ppt! The 1st day we have sum female frm sum NGO come n giv us a ppt abt "women's issues and concerns in india"-womens movement and stuff, the stats quoted in which would make u question ur own logical statistical aptitude n the general sanity of the presenter and you would be left with the question "why are we telling our woes to those Japs? why dont we let them sleep in peace?" (quite a few of them were just here to sleep). Two whole days of "interaction" which included about 10 presenations frm our side n some lines exchanged that bore some semblance to personal interaction. The second day was much better than the first, we had figured out names of atleast 5 japanese students by then. It was a nice n different experience, i guess,but cant stop whining about it nevertheless. And while all this was happening, Anna's frend Himanshu had come and me n Anna had sneaked out from the hostel. Had too much fun :D- different story, saving it for sometime else, when i 'd really need to look back upon "fond memories" to get out of the constantly pathtetic existence of mine.

There was the OB(call it outstanding bullshit- its just english in reality) test on stress after it, in which all i could think was " i'm stressed ". Then i wake up to reality one fine day before today and realise that i have to submit my Business English and Costing projects on Saturday and Monday and that i havnt even started working on either. I have managed to buy notes and MCQs but i'd just shock myself if i ever use them anytime hours befor ethe exams.

I thought i'd play it smart for Business Eng n use the report on Academic Summit which Vibhav n Me had written n i'd manipulate the findings and all that. Turns out the report is no longer on my laptop or with anyone with whom i'd thought it would be. As for the Acc. project- all i hav wid me is the letter from college. All in all, i've been ranting on about how busy it is these days, but havnt been doing all that much to resolve the problems on hand. Tomorrow i hav 2 submit my Business Eng project n there's way too much to do, but i sit here blogging, writing an extra long post.

YOUTH ACTIVISM DAY.

After all that work till 3 last night- it was so so impossible not to snooze the alarm 8 times, from 7 a.m. to 8.20 a.m.
managing to reach college somehow, missed the bus obviously.
after attending two lecs, we head to register ourselves- 11th hour people as always. get print-outs of our posters n get working.
our cause- STOP CHILD ABUSE. we have 4 posters n one badge pic. badges worked really well. people put them on willingly and many came to us asking for it. we even forced some people, celebs in college to wear them.but then some were also ready to buy it from us ( gave us a good idea for next yeras campaign)! ok all in all- our badge was a hit!! almost evryone could be seen wearing one by the end of three hours of our working around. i make up some powerpoint presentaion, throwing in random facts chosen on some instinctive yet lowly intellectual level. we began with just me n Anna. Udrrek joined in. Sakina, Aj, Agnav also joined in. Presentaion was ok(dunno whether its an understatement or overstatement)- judges n Dr. B grilled us- got kinda screwed. but its ok. atleast we tried.
it was a bustling active day today. i was glad to see so many people taking up a cause, supporting it, or the fact that they atleast bothered. Trying is better than sitting on the sidelines and commenting, i swear.

due to all this hustle n bustle we missed teh movie screening for Hotel Rwanda. But then we went for the movie screening of Water(giving our english presentation a slip one more time). its ok. Me n Anna, like inane, insensitive souls were foolin around making jokes. it was real sad in the ending. the movie promoted our cause, in a way it did. :P.

from now on..

god give me some more brains and heart,

to not crib about very small suffering my way,

for there are a million others somehwere,

who suffer much more, a lot more than we can imagine.

ok that doesnt mean i'm shutting down this blog( much to the displeasure of NERs).

i shall keep whining, so that one day i realise that all this whining had lent perspective to my views, propelling me to try n improve the condition in which i currently am into a non-whining, peace-loving, contented one.( wht crap?) a very difficult mission indeed.

Campus Rock Idols-a rock illiterate's view. Day 2

Sunday,11th Feb'07.

got up late. jus 11 a.m.( i knw, i knw its too early actually).
hav sum meager breakfast.wash clothes.we do not hav passes for the finals of CRI. we do not hav late out permissions.
a call to dad, some nice well said pleading( to both hitlers- dad and warden) we get our late-outs. whooopeeeeeee!! out till 11.30p.m.!! one who's not from our hostel and is not fattoo like us cant possibly imagine the exhilaration we were experiencing then. lucky day- warden's birthday.

after a lot of time,part of which was spent on working a bit for next day's campaign, we get ready and leave. finally- with interruptions like forgetting to take cellphone, i card, deo, and god-alone-knows-what-not!!

my resolution to not waste money on food and sticking to health food diet is broken with the amazing chicken biryani and yaam gai (sum friggin chicken salad-tatsed good though) at polka dots.rueben calls n msgs anna like a dozen million times before landing there, in the meanwhile ordering for nachos n cheese from his auto.
we finally reach elysium lawns a 5.30. an hour after the event was scheduled to start.three of us without entry passes. anna n rueben going on blabbering about whether we can enter with only our i cards or not. rueben gets on his cell every other moment, trying to find answers mayb. i go n ask the security- simple enough. we get in just to find that the its a long time till the event starts. bum around with others we know. one freaky moment- SHADES talkin to one of wid guys wid whom we were talking- oh god i was so wishing to jump up n down n do a mexiacan hat dance around Anna but i brought down my excitement to my evil grin. :D :D.
Rueben n Anna again take to troubling me due to which i go bump against 3 unknown persons- which i'm sure gave them enough reason to laugh,grin and smile. :X
Aj n his frend, whose name we didnt get till midnight began, offers me a smoke-which actually turned out to be pot!!, which i refused owing to Anna's vehement dissent. the vent finally starts. all gung-ho. we look for some more people whom we knw.we meet Anna's frends chetan, aditya n their frends. somehow they chose a place like near the toilets to be our meeting point!!! all engrossed in fagging, bumming around. kinda lost. soem head banging here n there, else jus sitting n babbling. passing on one lone cig amongst 7 ppl until the security comes n stubs it out.
finally head to the bar, anna tryin real hard to get high drunk managing to get partially high which is not any better.snatches of song yellow makes us run towards the crowd ahead. some more cheering, looking for someone, bumming around it finally comes to an end. FTN (Fuck the name- thts the band's name!!!), a band from Rueben's school,Delhi wins the comptn, for which Anna screams n whoops in joy as if her own band has won!!!
time to leave- wonder where to go for dinner. after some procrastination and a lot of confusion,Chetan, me n aditya on one bike ( yeah three of us on one bike!!!) n Anna n Saleel on one bike n Rueben Aj n his frend join us later at Uncle's Chinese- another common favourite KP haunt. a whole lot of fooling around and laughing there- one cant help but keep laughing in the company of such -oh-so-fuckin-funny guys. 11 p.m time for us to leave. Rueben, Aj n Agnav(finally we got his name- it ws not arnav nor,definitely not hrithik as Aj had told) still waiting for their yang chow fried rice, my recommendation- poor people at uncle's chinese had run out of noodles!
lookin desperately for an auto, Anna gets the urge to eat ice cream at Naturals there. so we ask one reluctant yet ready auto guy to wait while we get her icecream.
back at hostel-gates locked upon us. stupid security people.bluffed our way.
boring gig. but it was fun i guess.they played yellow- which acc to Anna is the highlight of the event.
back to working for 2mrw's youth activism day.
not a very gut nacht at 3 a.m.

Campus Rock Idols-a rock illiterate's view. Day 1

Saturday,10th Feb'07. after some wasted day as usual- bummed around in college doing nothing, again failing to give the english presentation, nor working on something for the college youth activism day as i had promised myself to do, even gymming was a futile exercise since i keep stuffing myself with foodstuff thats for sure not health food,i head back to hostel for a quick shower( a downright lie- i.e. no showers in hostel. jus the good old bucket ka paani)
We head to Elysium Lawns,KP- our fav place in Pune. Yet.
My 1st time there. In Campus Rock Idols(CRI). Anna's home now. Its her place-Rock events.
Some band's playing. Some crappy host blabbing on, asking the cold indiffernt crowd (at that time) to get bit moving/grooving/rocking/anything other than sitting on their asses. Anna n Me spot SHADES- i leave no stone unturned to act myself and embarass Anna to death with my antics.
We meet some guys from our own college. Hang around with them for some time.
( right now, hostel chicks-design i'm sure, :-> - playing doori- atif aslam again n again n againn its not good.sum jamming session. not good, not at all.)
Rueben derives some sadistic pleasure in poking my sides n making me jump hysterically. Anna n he then go for drinks where i'm the sole source of amusement n entertainment for them and they again resort to pulling my (short)legs.
see some real moshpet up-close. one of us goes and stands amidst the mosh. standing like a security guard, glares at all n then finally lends his way too solid support to some group.
our resolution broken by Aj's frend's goldflakes offering.
i dunno if the bands were amazing or sucked big time.
i dunno if it was a cool rock event or not.
i dunno what i-a philstine in all matters rock, was doing there.
all i know is that we had an awesome time. atleast Anna's been all jumping and freaky happy about it.
gut nacht. :)

Whats your Goddess Identity?

i gave this test on tickle.com..
and these are my results..
super-funny.

goddess identity:




You're Muse!


Alpana, you're Muse!

Known for your creative powers, you Muses are the poets and musicians of life, the patrons of the fine arts. It's funny, though — even with your inspirational prowess, you're probably not the type to boast about your guitar-strumming skills, or your latest published book of verse.While it's great when people flock to you for ideas, there probably is a part of you that prefers to blend in sometimes — whether dressing in muted shades or staking out a one-on-one conversation at parties and social events. But try as you might not to hog the spotlight, others can't help but notice you. Must be hard to be such a goddess! Despite any lingering modesty, you might be surprised at how much your mere presence can help improve the lives of those around you by infusing them with ideas and good thoughts. With that kind of healing energy, your inspirational ways have the potential to change the world, Muse. Whether you're scribbling sonnets, boogying with your friends, or drawing your own constellations — you're tapped in. So keep your eyes wide open to the possibilities and let that inspiration flow!

What's Your Goddess Identity?

Brought to you by Tickle

To do:

1.Complete my planning assignmet/ project- for which

• i 1st need to get some company details abt their rules, procedures, goals, objectives, blah blah and all the shit that they do.


• then i must make a word document.


• then finally make a powerpoint presentation in which i believe i've had a headstart- considering that i've made 3 slides containing the Subject-PPM( thats Principles n practices of management- old tosh of crap), the topic -Planning( which is an alien idea to me) and my name( i worked maximum on this slide despite the fact being that i claim to rather dislike my name)

2.Clean my room. This task includes many more sub- tasks :

• cleaning my wardrobe- separating piles and piles of clothes and folding them and all that or rather,


• shifting my stuff from one wardrobe to another completely or partially (depending upon whether we are getting the third new roomie or not).


• cleaning up both the tables and shelves- the dust on them can cause asthama.


• washing bedsheets and pillowclothes and the small heap[including smelly socks :( ] in my laundry basket.


• gathering all the containers and spoons and whatever i possess and cleaning them properly and keeping them somewhere safe, where i can find them when i need them.


• arranging footwear- very imp.

3. better start preparing something for the coming accounts project- dont wanna mess up wid this teacher.

4. complete reading one book/ novel.

5. start practising dance again- reckoning i may have to perform on stage after more than 2 years or so.

6. lose some more weight or rather flab/fat ( my dad expects me to weigh as much as, or maybe less than a 9 yr old would, ignoring the fact that i may look like 14-15 yr old kid though i'm actually gonna be 19 :) in seven months or so..) and finally get the trainer to actually do something other than just blabbing about too much exercise and eating food.

7. plan my singles only 14th feb party to celebrate or rather curse our single status. but as i mentioned earlier planning's not my cup of tea or coffee or whtver. still- lets just put it on my agenda for the month.

8. finally get down to writing something- anything, anything at all... or rather get done with what i have started and left mid way to fool around on something completely insignificant and inconsequential.

Turkish Delight?

too many things happening- a lot more to blab n bore NERs
but for now- this happened yesterday evening...


Turkish Delight- rather a turkey vulture.

Hot cute guy sitting across
us at German Bakey, our haunt.
Bald guy with scary hair around
and a silly goatee to match,
happens to be hottie's friend.
With ciggies in his hand,
(the bald guy,unfortunately)
hijacks our favourite bench,
along with his other ugly friend.
Says "Smoking is bad for health"-
Bloody Filthy Hypocrite,
Asks," Do I look Indian?"
We nod, hesitantly nod.
Talks about himself, us and Bombay,
Then finally says,"I'm from Turkey."
Asks us a thousand more questions
to which we lie with all integrity and wit.
His ugly friend watches the show,
lets him try his best to hit on us-
very very bad attempt.
I'm busy making up
imaginary names and places,
while Anna's taking his number
force-fed to her N80.
Urging me to be done with
my omlette,toast and ginger tea;
Trying in vain to be un-obvious,
signalling urgent departure.
Some flimsy fake promises made
to meet on some unforeseen weekend,
we scram the hell out of there,
screamin,"WTF?!" in hushed voices,
walking as fast as my short legs
can carry the other short half,
bursting into giggles momenatrily,
turning around to check and double-check,
clicking " traffic in motion"
for some un-doable project, we finally
get a rick before the driver refuses.
Laughing our butts off in there,
we ponder whats with the place?
we always encounter such nutters,
asking ppl out all over space.
only way out: temporary avoidance.
for another two weeks( or mayb less)
lets say no- to German Bakery.

Da Gym-exercise,slog,stare n come back to hog.

The only reason im boring NER(thts non existent readers..im too lazy to type it in every post)

with this continuous onslaught of posts is bcoz i get my heavy(for me atleast) laptop only few times a week nowadays n today im in da mood to blog.

ok so now about the whole gymming thing...im not obese(not yet),i want 2 lose weight n flab n fat so tht i can get back into 26-inch waistline jeans.

2nd jan.. d official 1st day at symbii, pune, in d new year for me..me n zubs decide to go to gym.. sleeping,whining(abt not being able 2 sleep 4 long enuf), complaining(abt my trackpants which were body-fitting at d bottom much to my displeasure and im ashamed to admit tht i dont have ne long loose baggy kinda t shirts almost evry1 has!!) n panting(thats me!!) we reach d college gym..

1.d gym instructor asks if its our 1st time..i say yes d very 1st time(never needed it before ).(liar zubs nods wid full force).

2. he thn takes us into thi sroom 2 warm up in which whenver me n zubs were fighting hard not to laugh whnver we caught each other in d mirror in front..

3. he takes us to do cardio for 5 mins on each.. i try the cycle its ok..can see zubs nicely jogging on d treadmill on my side..

4. i do the treadmill where i go back at one point of time n jus managed to walk at a measely speed of 6 or so while others start wid tht level.

5. do crunches then- (too ahsamed to mention teh number of times)

6. my classmate who's into gymmin n has a gud body decides 2 bless me wid sum tips n suggests this exercise to increase my height n love handles.. very good for me. bad thing though i cud never reach the bars 2 hold so tht i could hang from them.. tehotehr gym instructor got 4-5 weights n made me stand on them,with few ppl around lookin at the fun show i ws performing, n asked me to jump and get hold of d bars( i think %$%&%& u.. n i say- no no no no i cant i cant..4get it lets do sumthing else)

7. now dis classmate again thinks up a new exercise for me- leg ups. this time zubs,instructor n 2-3 others r surrounding me while i try my best 2 lift my legs up.. i think i managed to displace them in the vertical direction by almost 6 inches(exaggeration i admit). all this while zubs laughing like she's watching d funniest friends episode or something in that league.. n d rest r amused/bemused watching me struggle- lucky ppl didnt hav 2 watch tht for too long- i gave up after 2-3 attempts.

8. we leave,FINALLY for hell's sake. we meet Anna aft tht n zubs regales her wid tales of me fooling n blundering around in d gym.. abt d guys we cud check out there-some hot-bods aroun ahem ahem.. n oh yes i did d weight check at sum point n ws overjoyed 2 knw i'd lost 2 kgs-laugh as much as u want- but 2 kgs is 2 kgs.

9.then i have mango lassi, allu bhujia, lip chips(they r so so tasty n amazing.yummmmmmmmm) in teh course of d night.(some diet food aft d gym,huh??) my legs starts hurting so much i can barely get up. it happens wid d 1st time i've heard. so i'll not curse my weaknesses, but rather believe in hearsay.

10. late night-we blab,bitch, do crazy orkut stuff(hail anna's internet card) n finally doze off to sleep at 3( th ws me,i guess thes 2 sat up bitchin,or for decency's sake blabbing till 4)

i wake up sumhow at 7 n ask aloud wat do we do? anna says go back 2 sleep, so i do. wake up at 2 or 3.my legs still hurt n i go to brush only in late aftnoon.

then we order this humungously,obscenely huge amount of food(5 naans,half chicken handi-tht could feed 10 ppl,n half plate dum chicken biryani---all this 4 jus 3 of us). obviously we fail 2 eat all of tht however big hoggers/gluttons we might be. n aft this super-uber-heavy lunch n a miniscule siesta me n zubs do manage to get up n go 2 d gym.

d usual routine.. its been almost a week since i've joined n i hav lost 1 more kg in d process-again laugh as much as u may want,1 kg is 1 kg. i do it everyday-check weight tht is- so aft this blogathon i'll go down 2 gym n try 2 lose a bit more calories than i did yesterday n do another weight check. lol-gym-lol!

to zubs.. may her laptop rest(or come back) in one piece.

a new year has come..
i hav joined the gym in a vain n futile attempt to lose all that flab...
those embarrassing moments 2 b posted soon,someday,whtver...
d main thing however is...
zub's laptop got stolen sunday tht was..from the hostel and evryone's fkin stumped how it happened.. weird thing being that someone(whoever stole the laptop most probably) stole teh laptop charger first, then realsied tht the charger alone wont help her ( her coz its a girls hostel n stray dogs are more welcome in our hostel than guys are, though guys at times are even worse than those creatures..)- thn nicely came around to her room n stole the laptop frm teh bag..
its weird we 5 keep our rooms lockers evrything open n for use out there..
funny sancho's laptop was there on her table, open and on, n the "theif" went to the last bed, took out the almost 3 kg heavy big compaq latop from zub's bag!! earlier gaurz' money had been stolen from her locked locker...
someone jus stole a laptop!! it ws funny at first! we did search everyroom,wel almost i think.. in teh cupboards, under beds, in suitcases. evry goddamned place.. but i(WE) dont really think the "thief" would hav nicely kept it lying in her room.....
n yestday sum stupid sid bimbettes came 2 search our rooms!!
idiots.watevr..
now am bunking bepc n bloggin n we go 8 mins left 2 turn off laptop, 1st log off d net, run down 3 flights of stairs, go the taj(asap!!!) thn crash into class 4 OB....