WHY I HATE MS-WORD

I hate writing on Microsoft Word. but then how long can you write grammar-less sentences.
As I write this I see those highly irritating and disturbing and disgusting red lines. I’ve now lost count the no. of times red lines have appeared in typing out these 3 lines.
Inwardly I’m ashamed I don’t type well enough.
Inwardly I also hate that Microsoft word cant keep up with latest trend and changes in the English language and doesn’t contain new chat lingo in its dictionary.
And I also hate that t doesn’t auto-correct all the errors.
And I hate green lines too.
Bloody grammar teachers ! who the hell do they think they are? Now they have shown me a green line coz my exclamation mark is a bit too away for its taste.
Word wont die if it does auto-correction!
Common, the main characteristics of a computer are that it never gets tired unlike my poor arms and that its speed is VERY HIGH! (much higher than my typing speed definitely).
And I’m amazed that I havnt yet encountered any red/green line in the above sentence, which I consider to be one of the most senseless sentences to be written in English by me and I’m sure I’ve written too many to keep track of. Again one of those long winding senseless sentences. But there you go..! word shows green line for that sentence. I seek to correct and it offers me the following solution Fragment(consider revising).
If I go on to check grammar it will go on endlessly about the grammar I did till high school, in the process ruining my assumed creativity and sapping all my non existent talent.
And before Word decides to paint my this piece of shit red ( or perhaps green)
I better get out of this “Document4-Microsoft Word”

piece of shit

I always start with some idea
But midway I don’t know how
I lose track of where I’m headed
And end up with something
I had not at all foreseen
Not at all planned
Not at all thought of
It would turn out so..
Can I blame it- this tendency to jump from ideas to ideas
Within a span of 5 seconds-
on this instability of my mind,
From which I think I’ve been suffering
Since I don’t know.. ?
Long long long time ?
Some how it doesn’t make any sense
Why I monkey jump -
That is to say
My brain
Monkey jumps from one branch of though to other
Like some chronic ailment
Which disables you to keep
Your mind on one thing
For a time limit
Exceeding 15 seconds at the max.
I have no idea why I’m writing this piece of crap
I was actually planning on writing something serious,
Which always turns out to be highly boring and
Intolerable.
No I was thinking of writing something funny,perhaps
Again I fail miserably here… inevitably I end up
With a piece which falls nowhere
Nor funny nor serious
But pure crap.
I think I must start paying people
To come and read this awesome
Piece of shit
On which I’ve wasted 4 minutes 37 seconds of my time.
But worry not I’ll pay readers to waste their time on this one
If you’re a fast reader, you ‘re lucky
You can wrap this up in max 2 mins. Yet get money worth 4 mins and sum crap no. of secs-
now for some real nonsense...
"I'll sail to Ka-Troo
And bring back an It-kutch,a preep,and a
proo,a nerkle,a nerd and a seersucker too!"
Dr.Seuss in If I Ran the Zoo.

Haves and have nots--One race by 3000.

One race by 3000: According to an expert By 3000, a coffee colored population split into two sub-species – one healthy and smart and the other dim-witted- ill inhabit the earth, ending all racial profiling.

Or how one day half of us will be tall thin and intelligent, while the rest of us will be short, fat and very stupid.

So there you go..
Now you know where your legacy is gonna lie..
Take a look at yourself now n reconcile with the abhorring fact( if you look like a Garfield-Gummy bear-smurf combo with brains of Jon-hagar-suppandi combo, pray you mate with cat-woman, or Cinderella) that your descendants gonna belong to one of those two species.
I am short, not particularly ugly.. but yeah plain un-beautiful/un-cut/un-good looking in general. I am not fat. Yet. Going by the speed at which my waistline n bottoms expanding I could soon be joining that motley crowd. I, thankfully am not stupid! Well not inherently at least! Common everyone does that occasional super stupid thing…
And I think I can claim without any of my characteristic vanity and arrogance, that I’m adequately intelligent.

So in planning that my descendants fall into the haves must look out for a mate who HAS to be tall, good looking and intelligent( you can always use some extra grey cells).
And seeing my incapability in finding a mate( ok not in the literal term literally!!) good or bad as a mate(again no innuendo), I don’t think I’d be very successful in having my descendants in the elite privileged group.

arrrrrrrrghhhhhhh

i hate tis world..
its so bugging these days..
exams, tests n screwed up financial situation..
dunno wher all money's goin.. most probably into my tummy.. i eat so so much thes days!!!
n bloody auto's alos lootofying us
and bloody college..notes!!
i love whining
i hate this world!

WaTs WiD "SHALL"?

its d latest fad amongst us..Anna started it all..
she wud say" I Shall see you in the 1st lecture 2mrw.. ." big surprise if i found her next day!
then "I Shall go and have a bath" and "I shall now kick your ass"..
so we all are now goin on abt "shall"
as anna wud proudly claim "shall" s caught up very well.. its now imbibed in our lingo!..
so we all say" I shall..XXXXXX..."
i jus went on to say " I Shall Blog Now!"and I Shall Whine about using "Shall" too much.."

now i shall stop: boring myself,wasting my laptop battery n doing crap.

Things I'd Like to WHINE Abt.. but..

now i'd jus come out n said tht i'll b back to my whining mode.. but it's not so easy it seems..
the reasons wud be:

1. i'm lazy
2. i'm sleepy most of d time
3. the nets not working properly
4. blogger is not working properly
5. i'm busy at my other distraction orkut n poetry!!
6. n i'm most of the time contradicting myself so much, i cant decide upon what to whine abt
7. i'm majorly disinclined,disintrested to blog..not much of a regular blogger you see.

bein a science student i've gotten into d mode of writing "point wise" as we were always screamed at for writing stories in our papers.. but then its a gud thing.. u can jus check out the points(tht is if u check out the blog in the very 1st place) n get done with it, rather than reading my agonies which will plague u more than they plague me by their sheer silliness,exaggeration and lack of anything substantial.

now getting back to wht i'd like to whine abt:

1. Gen Mush's latest book:he's THE BLUFFMASTER
2. My Hostel:Pathetic location,even more pathetic WARDEN!
3. My College:Its good,but still lot to be cribbed abt.
4. My Bankruptcy:I'm always almost in some financial crisis.
5. Shobhan Saxena's article in TOI: abt BLOG RUBBISH(Sunday times 1st oct)
6. My ever fluctuating(infact ever increasing!) weight probs:I'm too lazy even to exercise!
7. The World in General: there's so much scope in those u knw..

now i like the number 7(nice magical reasons of which i'm myself unaware) so i shall stop.. i'll cite any of the above reasons why cant blab anymore.sleepy again..

more links than posts..

its lyk i got so many blog links.. but no posts..
ha ha i got more no. of ppl on my link list than my posts..

but then wht to write i wonder..
got a lot to whine abt...
but 4 now im lazy sleepy.. n jus not in the mood..
here infact im whining abt not bein tht "whining mode"